12th December 2016
The feedback on Like Rats has been bloody wonderful. Thank you to everyone who's purchased a copy and said such encouraging things. It's been interesting to hear people draw parallels between the events described in Like Rats and some of what's been happening in the political landscape this year. I'd like to stress that Like Rats is 100% fiction, and I am in no way involved in some heinous plot to bring about the downfall of liberal democracy. I'm far too lazy. If you wanna know what all the fuss is about you can still get yourself a copy on Kindle or paperback (although once they're gone, they're gone. And I mean GONE!).
2017 is shaping up to be a busy year. There'll be more short fiction coming at you directly in the facial area (make of that what you will) and I'll also be getting to work on the sequel to Like Rats.
24th October 2017
Like Rats is out now. You can order it as an actual book that you can hold in your actual hand, or for your Kindle enabled techno-thingy... which you can also hold in your hand. Or you can buy both and take heart from knowing that you've given me more money than I actually deserve. Click through to my book shop to place your order. All proceeds go directly to me. I'm saving up for some of that fancy beard oil.
17th October 2016
Turns out Like Rats won't be coming out on the 31st October as planned. Nope. It'll be coming out A WHOLE WEEK EARLY on 24th October. Sweet as a nut. It's now available for pre-order in my book-shop.
Like Rats is packed full of violent mischief and dark humour. Get yours... or don't... no wait... DO get yours!
In other news, I'm down to my last few copies of Mr. Bloody Sunshine. Once they're gone, they're gone.
8th October 2016
Want to get your hands on a paperback copy of Like Rats? Good for you. Pre-Orders are now on my online shop. Click here.
Like Rats will released on 31st October. You'll bloody love it!
29th Sept 2016
Like Rats has finally gone to press and I really couldn't be happier with the finished product. It'll be available on 31st October both as an actual paper-back book that you can hold it your hand and bring to your nose and smell (in the privacy of your own home, of course), or as an e-book on your Kindle device, which I guess you could also smell if you really felt like it. Keep checking back for updates and pre-orders. For now... why not treat your eyes to a little preview of the front cover in my bookstore. It's a thing of beauty!
24th July 2016
It's taken nearly two years to get it done, but it really is very nearly here. It's got all the blood-soaked laughs your blackest funny-bone can handle and more braaaaaaiiins that you can shake a rusty chainsaw at.
Check out my book store for all the info on my new novel 'Like Rats'.
30th June 2016
It's been a long time coming, but my new novel is so very close to being finished. "What's it about?" I hear you say. Zombies. That's what it's about. I'll be putting full details up very soon, so keep checking back. And if you're wondering when you can sink your teeth into this little beauty... that'll be the end of September. Unless something bad happens to me in the mean time...
3rd June 2015
Holy crap it's been a long time since I've updated this site! But I assure you it's not been out of laziness (at least not entirely). I've been working hard on my third novel and have finished the first draft, which means you should be able to read it towards the end of the year. I'll be putting some details up nearer the time, but rest assured... it's got plenty of blood and plenty of brains.
In the meantime, head to my short stories section where you'll be able to indulge in a few bite-sized tales.
My new short story 'Third' is now available for you to enjoy. Just click here and you'll be whisked off to a land of naked men wielding sledge-hammers and one-armed hobos with glistening white business cards.
Now, if you'll excuse me I'm off to start work on my third novel.
Two new short stories are coming very soon. It seems to have taken me far longer to write them than it should have but they're very close to completion.
Also, I've started planning my third novel. Not much to say about it at this point other than it will be suitably violent and funny, and I'll probably be having a stab at injecting some kind of satire into it too.
Short stories wanted!
Work is just starting on the second issue of my 'zine 'Something with Roy in it.' I'm looking for short stories (up to about 3000 words long) to include alongside one of my own tales. Happy to accept anything a bit odd/dark/twisted/quirky/gory/violent/funny but nothing too 'mainstream'. Just e-mail them over either as a word document or PDF, I'm not fussy.
Deadline is 15th June.
Apologies for the lack of updates, had a few computer issues over the last couple of months.
The last few copies of my zine 'Something with Roy in it' have been snaffled up, so if you were lucky enough to get hold of one; well done to you, and if you didn't manage to track one down, you'll just have to wait until I put out the next issue in August. If you have any short stories or pictures or nonsense you'd like me to include, feel free to drop me a line.
In other news, more short stories are coming in May.
Merry Xmas peeps! I hope you've enjoyed reading some of my nonsense this year. Whether it be my Halloween short 'Thank You For This' or the delightful 'The Last Prick on Earth is Not Alone', or even one of my novels (you brave fuckers!). Whatever you've read, even if it's just this news blurb right here, thank you from the bottom of my withered heart, you're all excellent people who probably won't be going to heaven. Because it'll be dead boring up there, right?
Anyway, 2014 promises to be interesting and I'll be pumping out some more short stories, putting together another Issue of 'Something with Roy in it' and hopefully starting a new novel. Special!
Cheers for the support peeps!
Happy Halloween Eve! Here's two bits of good news...
***NEW SHORT STORY AVAILABLE 31ST OCT. ***
In honour of Halloween I've crafted a very special short story called 'Thank You For This'. It'll be included in the 'One Hellicious Halloween' anthology which has been put together by the good people at Horror Novel Reviews. Do yourself a favour a head over to their site RIGHT NOW!
***FREE COPIES OF 'THE MIRACLE' AT MAYHEM FILM FESTIVAL ***
I'll be heading over to the Mayhem Film Festival at The Broadway Cinema in Nottingham on Saturday (about 5pm-ish?) with the sole purpose of handing out FREE COPIES of my dark and horrible novel 'The Miracle'. So keep your peepers peeled for a man with specs and a beard walking round with a pile of free books. If the idea of accepting something for free troubles you, i'll happily accept beer as payment. I'll also be putting copies of 'Something with Roy in it' about the place too, which includes my Richard Matheson inspired short story 'The Last Prick on Earth is Not Alone'. So... free stuff. What's not to like?!
If you still not picked up a copy of The Miracle, what on Jehovah's green earth are you waiting for? It's just received a glowing review in the latest issue of Left Lion...
'...devilishly satirical... (Watts) writes with the gnarly energy and acidic wit of an early Christopher Brookmyer.'
You can read the full review by clicking here
In other news, copies of my new cult fiction zine 'Something with Roy in it' are nearly depleted! If you want one you'd better drop me an e-mail quick. I'll be putting issue 2 out in early 2014. If there's something you'd like to put in it, I'm open to submissions. Just drop me a line.
With the help of a coupe of good mates, I've put a collection of short stories and bits and bobs of writing into the form of a 'zine (or booklet if that's too obscure a term). It's called 'Something with Roy in it' and you can check out all the details in the new ROY section of this very website. Also, you might see a few copies littered about the place, in which case, pick one up and enjoy!
You can now wrap your eyeballs around my new (and first) short story. It's called 'The Last Prick on Earth is Not Alone.' Just click into the 'Shorts' section of this here fine website to get yourself started.
In other news, I'm putting together a little magazine-type thing called 'Something with Roy in it'. It'll contain 'The Last Prick...' as well as a short story from a good chum of mine, some pictures and various other general toss. More details on this coming soonish.
I'd promised myself a few months off from writing but instead I've got a bunch of short stories in the works as well as a kids book (why the fuck not?!) and two novels also being planned out. Soooo... expect at least two short stories to be available in various formats by about May and then who knows. I'll see how lazy I'm feeling come summer time.
Paperback copies of The Miracle are now in stock! Please head to my bookstore, then buy and enjoy...
SPECIAL OFFER!!! FREE P&P ON ALL COPIES OF THE MIRACLE ORDERED BEFORE 31ST JAN 2013!
' The Miracle' is now available for The Kindle and Kindle enabled devices. Hurray! Click through to my bookstore for details. However, if you're in the market for a paperback copy you'll have to wait until December 15th due to a problem at the printers. Boooo!
My second novel, 'The Miracle', will be released on 3rd December 2012, you can take your pick from either paperback or Kindle Edition. It's taken nearly three years to write and re-write and re-write and check and re-check... so hopefully you'll all enjoy it and tell me what a clever little bugger I am! I'll be putting up details of pre-order offers very soon so keep checking back to save yourself some cash.
Check out my new online store at Big Cartel! Hopefully this one should work properly...
Just finished my second novel, it's called 'The Miracle' and should be available towards the end of the year. I'll be putting some more details up soon and once I get around to it, some short stories too.
In the mean time, if you've read Mr. Bloody Sunshine, tell your friends about it, LIKE me on Facebook and lend out your copies to spread the word. I want as many people as possible to experience THE MIRACLE!
The 'difficult' 2nd novel is almost done! Should have the first draft complete by April 2012(ish), I've decided to change the title to The Miracle, because it sounds so nice and pleasant, even though it's quite a nasty book! Nice...
I'll also be writing some short stories in the new year so that I can purge my brain of all it's stupid ideas! Zombies (YES!) Extra Limbs (YES!) Horses in Bars (YES!) Sexy Vampires (NO!).
I have printed copies of Mr. Bloody Sunshine back in stock, you can get one for £4.99 in my online shop. How very exciting. If you don't like printed matter cluttering up your sparely decorated pad, then by all means buy an E-Copy from Amazon, compatible with Kindle devices or the Kindle App for iPhone, iPod, iPad and such.
In other splendid news, I'm still writing my second novel; 'David: The Story of a Miracle' which should be finished early 2012 if I stop being a lay turd.
Sorry folks, but I'm all out of printed copies of Mr. Bloody Sunshine for the minute. I should be getting some more through in the next couple of weeks, so if you want a copy just drop me an e-mail and i'll let you know when they're ready. Incidentally, if anyway feels like giving me a few hundred quid to pay the printers then that'd be most appreciated.
If you really can't wait for a printed copy then just head over to Amazon and purchase the Kindle version, it's only £1.77 and still has all the same lovely words and what have you as the printed one. You can also download a Kindle App to your iPhone, iPad or iPod Touch and read the book in a new-fangled kind of way.
Mr. Bloody Sunshine is now available on the Amazon Kindle for an amazing but somewhat bizarre price of £1.77! You can also download it to your iPod Touch, iPhone or even your home computer by downloading the relevant App from Amazon. The Kindle Edition also features a new 'inverted' front cover, I'd like to say this is intentional, but it's just the Amazon website being weird, it looks good all the same, though!
No other news for now. Go away.
Nothing much new to report. Work continues on David: The Story of a Miracle. I'm about half way through the first draft so I'm thinking it'll be ready to go for an August 2011 release.
I'll also be getting some more copies of Mr. Bloody Sunshine printed soon, with a new blurb on the back. Also, I'm having a baked potato for dinner. How exciting.
Very pleased with how 'David: The Story of a Miracle' is progressing. It's not nearly as violent and sweary as 'Mr. Bloody Sunshine' but it's definitely dark... oh yes... you just wait! Still looking like early 2011 by the time it's done though.
I;ll be putting up a Facebook fan page very soon and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there's a couple more reviews coming soon. Other than that, it's all quiet. For now at least.
Work is well under way on the difficult second novel, entitled 'David: The Story of a Miracle' (and yes I am serious about that). I only really intended it to be a short story of about five or six chapters but it just keeps getting longer, saying that though, I think it will almost definitely be shorter than Mr. Bloody Sunshine. It feels like I'm abut a quarter of the way through at the moment so it should be ready by early 2011. I'll post more details at some point soon.
In other news, my attempt to give copies of Mr. Bloody Sunshine away for free fell flat. Aren't we in a recession? Or am I just a few months behind?
WIN A COPY OF MY BOOK! Yes indeed, seeing as I had a grand total of ZERO entry's into my last attempt to give copies of Mr. Bloody Sunshine away I'm going to have another stab at it! Just e-mail me a good enough reason why you should get a book for free and on 28th Feb I'll pick the three best and send out copies of the best darn book I've ever written. It\s quite literally as simple as that!
In other news... Mr. Bloody Sunshine has been reviewed in the latest issue of Left Lion, a Notts based Arts and Culture magazine which you can pick up for FREE at various Nottinghamshire venues. See my links page and go to their website for more info. Also, there'll be an interview with me in the April issue, so keep your spuds peeled for that. And (gasp) if you really can't wait to hear the shit I have to say I'll also be appearing on the Left Lion's literary podcast (Write Lion) which you'll be able to download from the 1st Feb. Go to http://www.leftlion.co.uk/audio.cfm/id/67 to have a listen or to download it and try counting how many times I say 'ummm' and 'kind of'. It's fun fun fun!
Happy new year! And to celebrate the fact that the inevitable has happened, I'm giving away 3 copies of Mr. Bloody Sunshine. All you need to do is send me an e-mail stating the reason you should get a free book, the I pick the best 3. That's literally it. I'll be selecting the winners on 20th January so if you can't wait until then, you'll just have to pay up!
Also, I've put a couple of copies of Mr. Bloody Sunshine out through Book Crossing, they're located in Costa Coffee near Pret a Manger in Nottingham and in The Alleycat Cafe in Nottingham. If you don't know what Book Crossing is go to http://www.bookcrossing.com. It's great for people who don't like paying for books but don't like the library!
Hello and welcome to my brand new website! As time goes on I'll be updating the front page with all sorts of goings-on and updates, so keep checking back. In the meantime you can leave praise, insults, thoughts and what-not in the visitor book. Thanks for visiting, and if you've not done so already, get yourself into my online shop and buy a copy of Mr. Bloody Sunshine. Over.